How far can you lean in before you fall? April 26, 2013

I am in the middle of Lean In, by Sheryl Sandberg and I’m loving it. I would recommend it to all women. It has already offered me so much inspiration and given me much pause. For me, it is particularly timely as I venture into my own business; albeit a small, side business at the moment. Becoming an entrepreneur is a very exciting prospect but with two young girls, it is also a very scary one. Lean In is definitely inspiring a sense of confidence about my decision but I woke up at about midnight this evening in a virtual panic, concerned that I really can’t do it all.

In Focus

I chose to put my career progression on hold for the first years of my daughters’ lives to put as much focus on them as possible. I continued to work but in a job that would ensure regular hours. But as my children begin school and are starting to find their independence, it is putting some of that focus back on me and the result is not entirely welcome. I don’t feel completely fulfilled intellectually and certainly don’t think that I have truly maximized my potential.

So, I have started a side venture with a partner, which is providing a bit of a creative outlet and greater sense of accomplishment. Now, don’t get me wrong; I take the greatest accomplishment from my daughters and always will. But as they forge a future for themselves, with their mommy supporting them and encouraging them at every step, I have to also look to myself as an example and ultimately, a contributing member not only of their lives, but of society that awaits them. Whatever time I find for my new venture is not at their expense. I am lucky that I can work quickly and effectively under extremely tight timelines. I credit my previous life as a reporter for that focus; but it’s daunting. At 2 a.m., I am still wide awake wondering how I can possibly do it all. I’m afraid I still don’t have the answer─ just a sense of dread over the extreme fatigue that is sure to engulf me throughout the day.

Sandberg refers to the movie I Don’t Know How She Does It, starring Sarah Jessica Parker, in her book and I have to confess that I’ve never seen it. But the answer to that question certainly eludes me. How does she do it? Better yet, can I?

Putting aside career drive and ambition May 18, 2012

Like many moms, I have chosen to put my career path on hold to focus as much of my time and energy on my children as possible. I continue to work a full-time job  – and one that is relatively demanding – but that also allows me to fit everything into the 9 to 5. While I cherish all of my time with my children and would not trade it for one second, I confess that I don’t feel entirely fulfilled at the end of the workday. I regularly have to swallow my pride, which is admittedly not a natural instinct for me, and bow my head in submission when I know that my experience and skill-set would suit a position of higher authority. But that position would also demand far more of my time and focus and I refuse to divert it away from my small children. I will never, ever regret that decision.  If something is going to get sacrificed, I will not let it be my girls. So how do I make peace with my decision and truly set my ambitions and drive aside – at least temporarily? I know this is an issue so many other mothers struggle with. We all make our choices for different reasons and with different objectives so the last thing we need moving forward is the judgement or contempt of other women. We should be supporting and learning from each other. So, other moms out there: How do you make it work? What have you sacrificed and how have you learned to accept it? Or are there any miracle moms out there who have found the perfect balance?